2022.01.17 15:24 nsfwbrowserrrrr How much is too much to put up with in a relationship with someone who is depressed?
Well, I’m here to mostly vent. Maybe get some good advice. I don’t know — I don’t really feel good and I need anonymous people giving me an honest opinion about my “issue.”
I (27m) have been dating my girlfriend (28f) for a year. The more I’ve gotten to know her, the more I’ve understood that she deals with a severe depression that has explained a lot of the things that used to tick me off in the past.
The thing that made me write this post is a general feeling of not being sure about how much I should give to someone who I have felt haven’t given me as much in the past. During the course of our relationship, my girlfriend has intended to break up with me a couple of times, but with good communication, we managed to salvage it and continue together after the fact. I say this, although I’m still shaken up from the latest attempt, and have found it much more difficult to trust her love toward me.
The obvious question here is: why am I still with her? Well, it’s because I understand why she tried to break up. She’s had severe trust issues that we managed to talk about in depth the last time she tried to break up, and I am noticing that our communication is better than it has been before. Also, I love her a lot. Maybe I’m codependent or whatever, but I believe in giving people chances and understanding that people hurt you out of frustration sometimes. We have talked through everything and I’ve let her know that this time (yes, this time), I’m probably not sticking around for another break up attempt. I honestly sometimes feel like it’s inevitable that she flips out and breaks up with me again some time soon — but then at least I know that I have given it more than 100%. At other times, I do have the hope that I have stuck out with someone and given them love when they needed it, and that we’ll be happy once this cloud passes.
What’s making me write this post now is me feeling that, for all the love I have for her, I feel like I do more than she has ever done for me. This is the same person that guilt tripped me for not going out with her on occasions in the summer because I had to finish my masters thesis. She once broke up with me before an exam, an event triggered by that I wanted to go home and study and not visit an art gallery. But now when she’s in a depressive state and doesn’t want to leave the house, I don’t complain. I understand where it comes from. Depression is a bitch and I’ve gone through some really tough times in my life — I can’t turn my back on someone who I know is in that much pain.
Also, we have good communication. When it’s the weekend and she doesn’t have to deal with her shitty job, we take long walks and enjoy our time together. She seems to have learned how to treat me right, and although I might have preferred to not be an experiment rat for her self growth (lol), I’m happy we seem to be making progress.
Still, my question remains. How much shit do you take from your partner? Especially if they’re depressed and you love each other? Recently I agreed to let someone else stay in our apartment for good (until we move out anyway), because my girlfriend needed money, and I wouldn’t be sour about it if this wasn’t first introduced as a one-two months thing (it was confirmed to be two months without my consent. I don’t mind the girl but I would’ve liked to be involved). I’m with her because I have hopes that the future will be different for us, because I don’t think that we’ll remain this way forever. I hope that she’ll get better when I have a better job and she leaves her shitty one (I’m applying for good jobs in another country which will make our finances better).
Sometimes I find myself dreaming away to someone else, someone who wouldn’t demand this much of me. But then I think that this is real life — that people sometimes feel like shit, and that love makes you do things for the people that you care for. But I don’t know. I’m also tired. She also tells me she’s suicidal every other day, but refuses to exercise or see a psychiatrist (she’s seeing a psychologist and she’s getting better by the day, but the same psychologist recommended that she saw a psychiatrist to evaluate if it was something hormonal). It’s taking its toll on me. I can’t force her to do anything, but I can’t just watch her be hopeless about life either.
This is a venting rant. I’m tired. I love her for a hundred of reasons that I don’t mention in this post, but sometimes, I’m at a loss whether I should be there for her or just… be with someone else who wouldn’t be this difficult.
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2022.01.17 15:24 ILikeTomato I’ve done the impossible
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2022.01.17 15:24 yototogblo Mendy wins The Best FIFA Men's Goalkeeper Award!!!!
2022.01.17 15:24 bakedfaerie [LF] Lucky, Kyle, Muffy, Marty, or Marlo [FT] NMTS and Bells
2022.01.17 15:24 Braden_Best My First Citizen Watch I got for Christmas this year
2022.01.17 15:24 sjwretards123 What is it about my posture/walking that makes rectus femoris muscles so tense?
I have this problem since forever (apt also).
My rectus femoris muscles are VERY tense. If i stretch them they really hurt and it feels like no matter how much i stretch the always come back to being tense and contracted.
I bought a standing desk but while this apparently helped with my low back, the rectus femoris issue is still there.
I figure i must be doing something all the time with them that they continue to revert to being tensed?
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2022.01.17 15:24 Salman50505 Kinda big penguin
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2022.01.17 15:24 Friendly-Ad-5288 mejor ciudad para volver a españa a teletrabajar?
Con la posibilidad del teletrabajo estoy planteándome volver a España, o al menos pasar temporadas allí mientras decido.
Una razón es que estoy soltero desde hace un año y casi en los 40 y me he dado cuenta de que a estas alturas prefiero una española mil veces que a una chica de cualquier otro sitio, por alegría, cercanía cultural, idioma y muchas cosas (por lo menos para una relación seria q es mi intención). Donde vivo me es fácil conocer chicas de muchos países pero las únicas q me han ilusionado en este año han sido las españolas y me siento q en ese sentido casi pierdo el tiempo fuera de España.
Tampoco voy a mudarme a una ciudad sin conocer a nadie cuando tengo mi vida, pero puedo hacer temporadas en alguna ciudad y ver si me gusta, ver si conecto con gente con tinder, deportes etc.
Lo q me gustaría:
- el Mar!
- Buena calidad de vida
- buen ambiente, que sea una ciudad y tenga de todo
- montaña es un plus
- buena conexión con Madrid y/o aeropuerto internacional
- mejor buen tiempo si puede ser
- el coste no es un problema al poder mantener el sueldo de fuera de españa
Asi por encima:
Cataluña me llama por el mar, montaña pero por otra parte con todo el respeto si vuelvo a españa prefiero un sitio q se hable solo castellano
Las canarias me encantan aunque quizas me sentiria un poco aislado. pero la gente de alli me encanta y el clima tambien
El norte me encanta por los deportes de aventura y el paisaje y tal, pero creo q demasiado aislado (pocos vuelos internacionales) y lluvioso...
El mediterraneo puede ser una buena opción
Madrid no lo descarto pq tengo familia y amigos, aunque no me gusta el tamaño tan grande y q esté tan lejos del mar.... me gustaria al menos probar otros sitios
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2022.01.17 15:24 SimTheory426 Question about Hamilton decision / FIA Report
I've read reports that Hamilton will not decide on his future until he can review the FIA investigation report on the Abu Dhabi round.
The FIA have announced that the report will be published on March 18, the start of the season. How does that reconcile? Surely Merc and Ham cannot hold out on a final decision until then. Hamilton will have to be at pre-season testing won't he?
I haven't really seen this discussed but I keep wondering...
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2022.01.17 15:24 jzamora29 Without Any Hate But
What region and device do guys think have more cheaters, laggers or whatever and what is your position on this, you only can play iOS vs iOs Andorid vs Andorid.
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2022.01.17 15:24 vojtechzmarzlak oh no
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2022.01.17 15:24 Nearby-Ad-5130 Couple playing fortnite
2022.01.17 15:24 cbvv1992 🔥60% Off Code – $15.99 Boys Girls Coat Thicken Fashion Warm Winter Hooded Jacket with Button Pockets (3 colors)!!
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2022.01.17 15:24 TheRezyn Discord server is currently being reconstructed
2022.01.17 15:24 conhaoikurphanf Beyler burası the mist oldu amk
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2022.01.17 15:24 unoriginalcait please kill me
2022.01.17 15:24 Depressioncuringmeme fear 100
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2022.01.17 15:24 bryanlxj Need advice regarding my(M27) relationship with my gf(F24) of 3 years 5months.
Before that, just a not so short backstory regarding our relationship. We met from tinder. I was a final year medical student and she was a final year nursing student.
Tbh, I initially downloaded Tinder not expecting to be in a relationship. I downloaded because one of my fav gamer actually downloaded tinder and found random people to play games together and i find it funny and exciting. I planned to uninstall the app on the day itself, but i slept. The next day, i noticed i matched with my gf the one person i hope i could match with. She caught my attention by what she wrote on her status which goes "Not into dirty mind. Goodvibes only". It goes in line with what i wanted too besides she was from the same field from me, thinking we would have similar topics to talk about and we were both final year students.
We started talking to each other and we somehow naturally click like a lock and key. To my surprise, she was so similar to me in terms of our past relationships. At one point, i thought to myself if there truly was a parallel universe, she was me except in a female version.
I had 2 past relationships of which, i was left by both my exes. The 1st lasted about 5months when i was like 15, i went after my ex since i was like 13 and when i was 15 she became my gf, however after 5 months she left me i/v/o she couldn't get over her crush. I tried getting back to her for 2 yrs but my attempts were futile, she was my 1st gf. End up i found out she started to date my good friend who transferred to my school when i was 16(i talked to him alot about her prior to him transferring to my school back then). I was very heartbroken back then, but i put my attention into my studies to distract me.
My second relationship was when i finished high school awaiting to enter medical school. I was working as a tutor teaching maths. That was where i met my 2nd gf and my 1st long term relationship. I was very wary prior to getting into a relationship with my 2nd gf as i was wary if i would get another heartbreak. However it did and we promised we will work hard togrther so we would live a happy life in the future. One thing that made me sad throughout my relationship with my 2nd ex was, she never exposes me to her family nor her friends. She only introduced her friend to me after we were together for like 1yr+. She said she didn't want to introduce me to her family because she had younger sisters and didn't want to set a bad example for them. In other words, she thinks of me as a bad person. I did my best to achieve good results so she wouldn't say she was setting a bad example but i was never good enough. Besides med school, i even did part-time work as tutor to earn some extra money for my own pocket money and to bring us out for nice dates. I don't come from a rich family, but she does, she lives in a villa and both her parents have luxury cars. All i know is both her parents went to the same uni as me but they did business and finance. She came to my house on multiple occasions, i wanted to introduce her to my family but i wanted it to go 2 ways. My parent knows about her and always ask when i was going to introduce her to them but all i can say not yet. It's pretty sad, although it has been almost 3 yrs we were together, she would say the same this, not yet, too early, i don't wanna set bad example for my younger sister. For me, knowing she was my gf and that i love her and she loves me is sufficient for me. However, she always wants to spent time with me on my uni days(weekdays) and when I'm off on my weekends she will say she is busy with her uni things. My uni and her house is very far apart, at least 60km, so it was difficult to go out with her for dinner on weekends as my classes usually ends up to as late as 6pm excluding hospital rounds. She couldn't understand that I'm working hard for us, for our future, so she could at least wouldn't be shame to introduce myself to her family. We usually argue on petty things such as why i couldn't accompany her on weekdays. Whenever I wanted to visit hego out with her on a weekend, she usually said she was busy with uni. No matter how much we argued, i always loved her and fully trusted her. One day immediately after my exams, she told me she was breaking up with me because i couldn't spend time with her. It brokes my heart so badly compared to the 1st. I trusted her to care for my heart in return i would love her and do my best for our future, to have a stable future with her. It just hurts, trusting someone after being hurt and that person did the same thing. I didn't even expect it coming out from her mouth. In the end she said she needed time to get her things together but we are not bresking up, we are just giving time to each other. I waited and waited but i know it was futile, she has left me.
TLDR: Having 2 bad past experience, was very doubtful to even get into my 3rd relationship(current) but i did and i cherish it a lot.
Here's why i said my current gf is like a female version of myself. She also had 2 previous relationship prior to meeting me. I know and i understand she had been hurt a lot. Hence i wanted to protect her and give her the love she deserves.
According to her, her 1st relationship was the longest latest for 3yrs. The guy was a new student who just transferred to her school when she was 15. However he was a what you call as a bad boy. She was among the top 5 student in her class and she is good in sports, she does netball previously. The guy was interested in her and they somehow ended together. However, he had done many things behind her back and betrayed her trust on multiple occasions. He cheated on her with multiple different girls at the same time. At one point, there was one of the girl who he was cheating with actually faced my gf during a netball tournament but she got trashed by my gf hahaha... All and all, she had forgiven him multiple times but all he did was continuously betray her trust, he even actually went on a date with another girl during my gf's birthday which was caught by one of my friend. She cherished him a lot because for her, it was her first relationship and she did many stupid things. There was one thing she regretted the most... She gave her virginity to him, in hoping it would save their relationship but he used her. She cried before and after it happened. Since then she stopped seeing him and he broke up with her during her final exams at age 17 which badly affected her year end results. Since then she was also very wary on falling for someone again.
However, she met her second bf at her church at age 18. According to her, he was a nice guy. He not only did not mind she wasn't a virgin, but he taught her on Christianity and to pray always. Both of them met each others parents but one day everything changed. He admitted to her that he was pretending to be happy all this while and he couldn't accept her for not being a virgin. He said she was dirty, although according to her, he wasn't a virgin to begin with. She never had any sexual encounters besides that one time with her 1st ex where she lost her virginity. It was that statement that hurt her so much. The guy who was always treating her nicely suddenly just changed and said everything was an act and whatever he said wasn't true. That is why she find it difficult to trust anyone or to fall for someone.
Coincidentally, she actually downloaded Tinder on the same day as i did hahahahaha. Such fate. Her friends actually encourage her to download it, maybe by chance she could find a guy who would treat her right since she has been single for some time. She was also not expecting anything out of tinder, just to go as what her bff said since they have been by her side during her worst days.
TLDR: Gf had 2 previous past relationship where she was hurt/cheated/lied countless of time. This made her wary to be in a relationship
For me, virginity is something sacred. I was a virgin before meeting my current gf. I wanted to safe my virginity for our marriage whereby we could celebrate each other body in the vicinity of our household and to love each other always. However, prior to my gf admitting to me that she wasn't a virgin, i had a mentally and was prepared, if she ever says she wasn't a virgin i would still accept her. People make mistakes, as long as they learnt and regretted what they previously did. From my point of view, she did it unwillingly out of the sake to safe her relationship but her 1st ex actually used her, and i hated the fact how he used her like that. I didn't know why, but i had like a predicament that she may say something like this because she was always telling me, i may be your biggest mistake and she is sad. When i told her i was a virgin, she said it is unfair for me as i was planning to keep it during marriage which she had lost. She couldn't offer that as she had lost her sacredness. She could always choose not to trust me that I'm a virgin as there isn't a way to proof a male is virgin unlike female which is usually by hymen, but hymen do get torn either by light/heavy exercise, but usually although it is torn by shear force of sports, it will still bleed minimally during sexual intercourse. All i ask her was if she allowed me to sail with her on this boat, never ever, i mean never ever push me away, sail with me no matter how big are the tides, high and low we will always be together to go through all. She promised me she would... However even after some months, i know it still bothers her head that i am a virgin and she wasn't. I always tried to assure her, all that matters to me is we love each other, no matter our flaws we would accept it, no one is perfect, i had my own flaws as well.
I know no matter what i said, it will always bother her. I made one of my biggest decision in my life, i placed my only bet on her which i know i couldn't do it with anyone anymore and there isn't a second retake. I believe she was the one, who ill care and love always, because i know she deserved to be love and she was cheated/lied/hurt enough. I gave her my virginity, but it was all on my free will although it was my principle to only have sex after marriage, for her i was willing to go through it. I had 5 principles in my life. 1.No smoking 2.No alcohols 3.No drugs 4.No prostitution 5.No sex before marriage
Moving things forward, our relationship was great. When i graduated, i had to wait for my doctor placement(usually about 6-12months in my country). At that time i was jobless, as i planned to move to the same state as she was serving in a private hospital under a contract bounded by her scholarships. I didn't want to have LDR because i know it is difficult, and i didn't want her to feel alone since she has always been far from her family since student age as she was living in a dormitory. At that time, time was rough, i had no income, i tried finding part time jobs but it wasn't easy, some places thing I'm overqualified and they couldn't afford to pay me. So i was living based on my own saving i had since i was working part-time previously during my medical student days.
My gf's salary wasn't that much to begin with as she was also a fresh start nurse. We rented a room with her other fellow colleagues, but she paid the rent. She would even buy the meals for me, felt i was like a househusband, waiting for my gf to come home. I did the cooking, dishes, laundry and cleaning. We were so thrifty on our finances, we always think several times and usually it is a no when we plan to eat out unless it was on special occasions. On daily basis, i would fry maybe 1-2 eggs per person with plain white rice and some chillies, that would be our usual meal sometimes there would be veggies. Although we were going through tough times, i didn't mind, because i know we were together, and if anything at least i know, my gf didn't mind going through tough times with me although she was like my sugar mama at that current time and we would have great stories to talk about to our grandkids when we grow old together and looking back at what we have come through.
Since she started working as a nurse(she works in the ICU/CCU/HDA unit) i know she is very stress and i know she is tired. I know she doesn't want to be a nurse, she wants to be an educator in the future. However, she is bonded by a contract to work for the private hospital for a total of 5 yrs. If at anytime, she wishes to leave the hospital she has to pay back a total sum of 80k or if any hospital wishes to buy over her. I would have paid the bond if only if i had the capability to do so. It hurts me also seeing her feeling stressfull. All i could do for her is to hear her out and comfort her whenver she has something to express her frustration about. She told me she wanted to be a housewife, but i always told her that, i don't want her to be a housewife, i dun mind wtv work she is doing or however low her income is, as long as she is working.
There are ups and downs in our relationship too. My current gf actually doesn't share/upload any pictures of me/us together. Her reasoning was, she previously always posted about her exes and in the end, all they did was hurt her and left her. She isn't someone who is good at expressing herself too, so she didn't like what her friends would think of. However, i just accepted her reasoning because we may be just early into the relationships(almost about 1yr)and without doubt i posted our pictures and her. Soon when our relationship had progress further, whereby we started staying togrther, we met both of our parents, she still didn't post my photo despite us being together up till now 3 yrs 5 months and counting. She said she will only post oumy photos after we are married/engaged. Well i do not need to say, it kinda hurts me a lot. It actually does hurt me a lot knowing that she still couldn't fully trust me. If i was a random person, i would think she is single, however i always made it clear to everyone even at my workplace/uni i have a gf and they know how she looks. Anyone who knows me had at least encountered my gf once if not more, cause i brought her whenever there is any events such as prom/dinners and etc. However, thinking back, she never actually brought me to any of her work/uni event or wtv public events. She told me she didn't like people gossiping bout her at her hospital. I just tried my best to compromise with her as i know, she may have been hurt really bad previously. At least, i have met her family. My mother likes her LIKE A LOOOOOT, idk maybe because she was the first person i introduced her too. Wtv it is, I'm happy because their relationship is good.
When i met her family we were able to click together as well. Although, she previously brought her exes to meet her parents previously, at least i know they are supportive parents. After some times, we were actually quite close, sometimes i would call her mother, mummy haha. My father had recently passed away 2 years ago suddenly, so I'm grateful at least i have a good relationship with her father.
I know there are rules that girls are always right, but i do try to correct her when i know she is clearly on the wrong end. Sometimes i would just compromise if it is something small, but what make things difficult is if she is ever moody/angry it is IMPOSSIBLE to talk sense into her. She doesn't like people to raise their voice at her or scold her. Unfortunately I'm naturally loud when i speak, so she may sometimes misinterpreted that i raised my voice at her and she will get angry at me, although there are times when i do raise my voice and scold her for endangering her health/safety. There was once she was riding her bike quite recklessly and i raised my voice to be careful but she misinterpreted my intentions and scolded me back.
But i have known her from the start she has bad temper, however she apologize when she calms down and is able to make rationale thoughts/decision.
Whenever she comes back later than i do(we work in shifts) i would usually ask how was her day. Whenever she is not in the mood/having a bad day, she will say she doesn't want to talk about it and i can only obey and try to change up the mood. When the opposite happens to me, she will get angry if i dun share with me and she will ignore me the infamous cold treatment.
I'm fine most of the time although i have to admit sometimes I'm hurt from this unfair treatment, but i love her. She always claim she is tired/stress from work, i know about it but i couldn't do anything for her. If i had the 80k, the first thing i would pay off is her bond. Just to make things clear, i work on paper 62hours/week with 1 random day of the week off, but truly I'm working >90hours/week on most of the week, she works 7 hours per shift on paper depending on shift, but she would usually go back 1hour later on most of her shift which would also sum up to <62Hweek maximum, and she sometimes get up to 3 days off. Maybe it is difficult to judge and I'm being bias, a jobscope of doctors and nurses are different but they work together for the better healthcare for our patients. I work in a government hospital.
Since somewhere around mid 2021, she has been very stressful, because private started to handle covid cases. Me not being able to help hecomfort her also makes me stress. This makes her even more stress, as she feels uncomfortable. It's like a vicious cycle. She started having insomnias and so on. Once i found out she took one tablet of anxiolytics from her hospital. She admitted to me she has panic attack occasionally and unable to sleep, hoping if she takes it, it would help her rest better. She said i could help her by prescribing her xanax, however i was very reluctant to do so but i did it because i know she was having difficulty in sleeping.
I actually talked to her, that xanax is only a short term solution, she needs a counselling from a professional, but she says she wants to try to do it on her own, as she doesn't like the word being a psychiatric patient.
Last year on my birthday in october itself, she said we needed time for each other and we could still be friends. I told her are you sure you are asking this when you clearly know about my past relationship. I waited waited and waited for my ex. IMHO, you can never be just friends with someone you love, if someone is actually capable of that it means there wasn't any love to begin with.
Just a little back story, 2 months prior to my birthday, my gf was becoming very secretive. We know the pass of each others phone. But my password is the same for all my accounts. Whenver i started touching her phone, she would jump up quickly and always see what i was doing with her phone and wanted it back to do something with her phone. I trusted her fully so i didnt question much, but she started to get more suspicious. Initially i thought she was planning something for my birthday, but she started interacting with me less, she doesn't say she loves me back, so i did something i was ashme of. I know she login facebook on my laptop and my laptop actually auto safes password and i manage to get on her facebook.
I just wanted to know what was happening. Turns out she was talking with some random guy which i feel was rather close for a complete stranger(they had 0 mutual friends). I was devastated but i kept my composure. Btw, she changed her phone password saying her friends know her old password and they are always using her phone hence she changed. So i asked what was the password and why she didn't told me bout it.
She said she didn't plan on changing it for long and i know the password as it is same as mine(lie). When she was sleeping, i did the unforgiven things another time, i attempted to unlock her phone, but the password was incorrect. Idk what went wrong, we were so closed to each other once, we are free to use each other phone, now me trying to unlock her phone seems like I'm doing a crime. I confronted her about all during my birthday. She actually said she was planning a surprise birthday gift for me as my highschool friend was contacting her to collect the gift.
However i still confronted her regarding why was she beingg so sus recently and has she did anything recently to betray my trust. She kept claiming no. So i ask regarding the stranger she was chatting with which was rather close and she said she doesn't know what i was talking. She then kept asking me what are you trying to say.
I broke down infront of her, asking did she cheat on me although not physically. She cried and denies it, hence i show her my laptop actually can see the password you login with. She said so what if you can, show me wtv you want. I opened up her fb to show her but to my surprise, the message history was all deleted but i remember the guy's name and searched up his account and ask did she chat with him. She again denies it, and she said yes she have been chatting with strangers but she has neveer cheated on me. That was when she also cried and said we needed time for each other.
I told her clearly, if you needed time, it's better if we go our separate ways, as I'm not giving you the happiness i hope for you but only pain. I never believe in needed time. She cried and asked "so you want to leave me after all we had been through and you're the only person who knows me best?".
I told her i love her and it has never changed since all this past 3 yrs +. When i said to never push me away was the only thing i hope for but you did the exact one thing i hope you didnt. I am on this boat with her and I'm always ready to sail with her no matter how high/big the tides are, i will always be by her side unless she doesn't want me by her side anymore. She said she loves me but all she wanted now is time, she needs time to relax her mind from stress at work. I did another thing that i promised myself to never do. For her, i promise her I'll give her the time she needs, but in return she will promise me she will get professional help but she said she will try on herself first, if it fails she will get a professional help, a counsellor. Then we both went to sleep, it was a cold sleep for me.
Then, we actually planned to go back to her state(>400km) during Christmas to celebrate with her family. However, she went back earlier as i couldn't get as many off as she could. One day prior to her flight, we actually plan to spend the day together as i was working night shift however she said she wanted tk accompany her friend awhile. I was like okay sure, as long as we can meet and have a dinner together before her flight. 4 hours till my shift starts, she said she wants to go to the market to buy some things with her friend i was like okay sure. 1 hour before my shifts starts, she was asking if it is still enouggh time a d she shown me the grabcar fair was freaking expensive for that current time almost like x3 the amount. I was like nvm, I'll go pick you up and we have dinner together. Then i quickly go have my shower. She suddenly texted me asking if it was still enough time. I asked her back what does she thinks, i then proposed i take away food nearby our unit and bring it over to her and we have dinner in my car(her uni friend's house is near my hospital). She then feels like im blaming her that we couldn't have dinner together. I just burst. I said if you jad planned to have dinner with me you wouldn't even go to the market with your friend since you already went over her place since morning. She then replies, it's not that she doesn't want to spend time with me but it was the fare that was so ridiculously expensive. I just burst.
I told her, maybe I'm never her first choice anymore. Maybe i never were from the beginning. Wtv it is, i hope she is happy and make sure she have her dinner as i was heading towards work. I told her, I'm not going to her home at her state but, I'll still use the flight ticket and book a place for myself to find inner peace. Our return flight tickets, I'll pay extra money to change my seating so we dun have to seat next to each other. I just gave up, i just gave up, my heart was numb, i just felt empty. I told her, i pray for her happiness, although i hope i would be the one giving it to her. But if really i couldn't, i hope someone will do so on my behalf. Wtv it is i hope we will both heal and once we return from her state, I'll move out from our condo so we won't have to face each other anymore. She then cries and said sorry for what she had done, she actually planned to eat together with me prior to boarding but she wanted to accompany her friend because she was lonely. I said i am lonely too, although we are partners, i feel our distance may be near, but in reality it is galaxys apart. She told me to at least accompany her to her home in her state as her family would be happy to see me especially her younger brother. She hopes we will heal togrther for the better at her state.
I had planned to marry her for some time during our visit to her state but after all that has happened i postponed the plan. I initially wanted to give her reassurance. I want her to know, I'll be official there for her if she needs me whenever. Although i always had been doing that since from the very start. I want it to be made clear, i love her and i want her to be officially mine legally and rightfully. Her parents had actually given their blessing to me and was hoping we get married same goes to my mother as marrying now actually saves much finance as not many people are needed to be invited.
Since arriving at her state, i tried my best to always keep in my mind, I'll give her the space she needs if that is truly what she needs and want. When i arrived, she started holding my hands, it was weird initially i just followed her flow. Fast forward at night, she said she is sad why it was one way, only she initiates everything etc holding hands, hands around waist, hugging me and so on. I told her, I'm giving what she wanted, she wanted space, and I'm not gonna initiate any physical touch as i do not know what are her limits so I'll only follow her flow. We had an open talk from heart to heeart and cried and we slept about 5am.
Since coming back from her state to our apartment, i agree our relationship has became better but it wasn't as before. 2 weeks since coming back here, i am starting to see the old things repeating itself infront of me again and again. I'm seeing her stress/moody when she came back from work but i couldn't ask her what's up as she will always reply i dun wanna talk about it and walk off coldly. So again me contemplating my decisions in my life.
Today she told me, she had nightmares dreaming about me suffering when i am with her. And it wasn't the first time she dreamt about it and it is happening in real life as well. All and all, i know no matter what she did to me, i know i love her much more than my ego, there is so much i have given in for our relationship. If this fails, i dun think I'll be in another relationship again. I cherish her, if i had the opportunity to go back in time, i would again do the same thing. Currently I'm preparing myself for my specialisation in emergency medicine as a specialist to keep my mind away when she says not to disturb her or leave her alone.
TLDR: if you have reach the end of heere, i thank you for spending the time to read and understand. Relationship with gf is getting complicated but still i cherish it so much and i do not want to give up on us and should i still continue my plan for marriage end of this year 2022
P/s: I know it may have been a long long read, but i wanted everyone to know more so i could get advices from a 3rd party whom is non conflicting with one another.
My first post. Go kind on the grammar, it was the thoughts in my mind, my fingers just followed
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2022.01.17 15:24 TN_Egyptologist Travelling to Luxor? Don't Miss Deir el-Medina
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2022.01.17 15:24 Owen_RC How to rig Pocket 6k Pro with Camera Battery Pro Grip for use with heavier lenses?
In this video (at 3:08) they say you'll need to rig up the camera if you're using heavier lenses with the Camera Battery Pro Grip. Is the rig's purpose to more evenly spread out the weight? And what rig would people recommend for this? Thanks in advance for any help.
submitted by Owen_RC to blackmagicdesign [link] [comments]
2022.01.17 15:24 SoccerLiveGoals VIDEO: Bologna 0-1 Napoli - H. LOZANO Goal (Full Replay)
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2022.01.17 15:24 GollyGeeSon Victoria Justice
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2022.01.17 15:24 Glass_Ad_8753 [EU] [BUYING] [TRADING] Looking for: Vagabond Singles. What I have to offer: Mushishi, Vagabond Singles, Toriko,... I also ship outside the EU
Feel free to message me if you have any questions, concerns or would like to see more pictures.
I do not intend to split sets. I am also selling some of these sets.
What I'm looking for:
|Vagabond Singles||I already have volume 1-5, 9, 10, 12, 20, 21, 23, 24, 29, 30, 32, 34 & 35||Only in G4 and G5 condition. I'm also willing to trade for volumes I already own if they fall within your set that you don't want to split.|
|Akira Box Set||G5||https://imgur.com/a/ZbPzWKn|
|Mushishi||1, 2 and 8, 9 & 10||G3 - G4||Red dot on the top of vol. 8, 9 & 10||https://imgur.com/a/Loehung|
|Toriko||1 - 43 (complete)||G4||https://imgur.com/a/k2zkqgj|
|Akira||Issue #7, #11-#18 & #24||G2 - G3||Send me a PM||https://imgur.com/a/3SNd9mk|
|Crying Freeman||Journey to Freedom vol. 1 & Shades of Death vol. 1 & 2||G3||https://imgur.com/a/bBCfbaU|
|Dragon Head||6||G3||Little bit of yellowing & the top of the spine is a bit damaged||https://imgur.com/a/zGLPssR|
|Inuyasha: a Feudal Fairy Tale||Issue #2, #3, #5, #7 & #8||https://imgur.com/a/Zm5sJmq|
|Lone Wolf and Cub||Omnibus 3||G5||https://imgur.com/a/EB09u9C|
|Lone Wolf and Cub||Omnibus 3||G5||https://imgur.com/a/ns7QYEa|
|The Flowers of Evil||9 & 11||G5||https://imgur.com/a/sbs7uUR|
|Tokyo Babylon||Omnibus 2||G5||https://imgur.com/a/zginhg8|
|Vagabond Singles||29 & 30||G5||Vol. 30 is sealed||https://imgur.com/a/vb9n7uz|
|Wolfsmund||6||G5||There is only 1 volume available||https://imgur.com/a/msfcxk5|
2022.01.17 15:24 affrothunder313 Unironic true enlightenment in the wild. It's beautiful if you really think about it.
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2022.01.17 15:24 OreganoOrigami Got my first cast iron pan for Christmas, after lots of seasoning/research I seared my first ribeye in it for dinner last night. Can I join the cast iron club? Any tips on my cooking?
|submitted by OreganoOrigami to castiron [link] [comments]|